I’m really glad I don’t live in the 16th century. Or even a hundred years ago. If I did, I certainly wouldn’t be able to share my thoughts as I am now — at least not without getting burned at some stake. Here’s why.

I’ve been asking God to reveal the truth to me about Jesus. Who He is. How things work.

Last night, I had a dream that was very disturbing.

In the dream, I lived in dorm with a bunch of other girls. Everyone was happy and well-cared for. It came time for me to get my hair dyed. The tradition was that the girl’s father would take care of this matter for her.

To have my hair dyed, I had to stand underneath an platform while an innocent child’s blood dripped on me. I was appalled. I thought, “How could the child’s mother have made this deal with my father to allow her child to be killed for me?” I was enraged. I stepped out from underneath the platform and went back to the dorm.

I was ratty-looking and uncared for. The other girls all had gorgeous hair and were happy and enjoying life. I was miserable because of my unbelievably cruel father.

I returned to the platform. There was the boy who had been sacrificed on my behalf. He was lying there, almost dead. Next to him was an almost identical boy. Whenever I tried to ask the hurt boy what had happened to him, the other boy would answer, “They hurt me,” and go into details of the torture as if it were his own. He seemed spaced out, brainwashed.

Again, I was appalled at the cruelty of the boy’s father. Not only did he intend to kill the boy, but he was using the boy as a whipping boy for the son he truly loved. And even that love seemed twisted, as that boy was not a shining example of happiness and mental health.

An odd element of this dream was that on the platform next to the child who was being sacrificed was a big pile of bacon.

So here’s what I think it all means:

First of all, I think the bacon symbolizes something unholy. While lamb was an acceptable sacrifice back in the day, pig was most definitely not. It would have profaned the alter. So whatever was happening there was unholy. On the surface, this seems obvious, like DUH — of course a father torturing his son for someone else is an awful thing to do!

I think the whipping boy is Jesus. I think the father is a false idea of God. And the boy who was spaced out is the brainwashed person who thinks that God would torture his son on his behalf. And me, well, this dream was a pretty good representation of my spirit’s grief at considering the idea that I might have such a father.

I mean, God is my strength. My healer. My provider.

My rock. My shelter in times of trouble.

He is living water.

His love is enormous.

Yes, I doubt the atonement theory of the crucifixion. My conscious mind becomes frightened when I question orthodoxy, but apparently, my subconscious (spirit?) doesn’t have an issue with it.

9 thoughts on “Heresy

  1. Someone recently posted the Apostles Creed and I realized it is completely void of any brand of atonement theology. It just says… God is, this is what He did, and what He will do. All they “why” is left out. Simple. I also no longer can accept how this has developed. When one day I became aware that through the ages there have been many theories about this, I no longer felt obligated to subscribe to one.

    • Yeah, I’ve been having the thought, that ultimately, all of it is theory — man’s interpretations of his ideas and experiences. And that is not a rock to stand on. Love, however, is.

  2. I have read that this version of the atonement was not a part of church teaching for the first 1000 years or so. The original theory, was the ransom theory of atonement; where the life of the innocent Son is given to ransom the people of the King, who had ALL been taken captive by an evil fo (the powers of Sin and Death). Yet it is not just the Son who, having volunteered for this mission, ends up dying; but it is the Father Himself (the Word, who is God, who chose to manifest in human flesh, in order to set us free) who dies as well…. and then rises again. This view of the atonement is depicted in C.S. Lewis’s book, “The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe.”

  3. There are s many things I question, then I remember the Bible was written by men….that alleviates my questions…Trust in your heartfelt relationship.

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