In Which I Climb Down Entirely From the Fence

dreams about yogis

I seem to be on a very definite path lately. It is a path that is pointing me away from all of the other religions and belief systems that I have enjoyed exploring whilst on my truth journey. It started two weeks before Sage left when my extraordinarily intuitive Holy-Spirit guided friend Meg sent me a video that pointed out how some of the esoteric things in the New Age were Luciferian, and I saw the selfishness and deception embedded in some of my own spiritual seeking and was alarmed. That night, I experienced demonic interference in my dreams, which only confirmed what I had suspected. I threw out every esoteric book in the house, and the next morning, not knowing any of this, my son Sage told me that he had lied about all of his spiritual dreams and visions. That he had liked the attention. He would tell me all sorts of fantastical things that he saw in the spirit realm, and I had believed him! This went on for six years! What he told me very definitely influenced my own belief system. So all sorts of things started coming to light. I felt that via my son, I had been guided down a path away from Jesus and real truth by a darkness that was working through him. Whether or not it was all truly a lie, I will probably never know, but I am quite sure that I have been misdirected.

The truth can be a bit difficult to get at, and there are always imposters willing to lead you away with their mixture of 95 percent truth and 5 percent lethal lie.

Enter the dreams. I love them. I am guided by dreams and impressions from God, and am much the better for it. For example, last week I was very sick with allergies, muscle and joint pain. It hurt to move for days. When I was lying in bed one night about to pray, I got this visual image of myself drinking lots and lots of water. I also felt a strong impression to stop drinking diet drinks and tea all day long. So the next day, I drank lots of water all day long. The day after as well. In just two days, all of the pain and most of the allergies were gone! Amazing! I know if I had went to the doctor with that list of symptoms, they probably would have handed me a couple of prescriptions and been a bit puzzled as to the cause of it all. So I value this sort of guidance very much.

My nights have been lit up with a number of dreams that are so very real and rich with symbols that I know I am supposed to pay attention to. Last night, I dreamed that I was at a party and saw a gorgeous prince. I was instantly enamored, and flattered when he began flirting with me. Soon, he told his mother to give me the engagement ring that he had been saving for his bride, and she put it on my finger while the family announced our engagement to the party. I had never been asked, but I was so swept away with it all that I didn’t say anything. Then we were alone in an intimate moment, and a diagram of the seven chakras was all lit up around me with all of the colors. Later that evening, he informed me that I would be doing exactly as he said in our marriage, and made it apparent that he would be controlling my every move. Upon hearing that, I got away from him…FAST!

Then I woke up because someone was pounding on the door at 3:30 in the morning. These weird things have a way of happening when I am supposed to remember a significant dream. It took me a couple of hours to fall back asleep, and then I began dreaming along those lines again.

This time, I dreamed that I was having an interaction with a yogi who ran some sort of shop. He gave everyone a paper with a poem to read, only it was backwards. I was able to see it in the correct orientation, and he was very disturbed that I could do so, as his intent had been to deceive. Then I dreamed that I was telling the story of the dream of the prince to others, and well, here I am doing that. That prince — marriage to his sort is not what I want! I am a bride of Christ, who offers the opposite of the prince — total and complete freedom.

I had had another dream about two weeks ago of being in a dark cave with a yogi who was grabbing my breasts. I looked up to escape, and saw a hole with brilliant light shining through. I was unable to get through it though — there was too much of me!

The Hindu/Yogi dreams are due to my having become utterly fascinated with Hinduism and yogis. The reason for this is that some yogis seem to manifest more Christlike behavior than we see here from most Christians. So I started reading a lot of books by them and was enthralled by the wisdom. Some things didn’t sit right with me, though. I believe in surrendering to God, not a guru with human faults. And I know we are not supposed to hide our lights by meditating 24/7. But things like yogic superpowers (kriyas) fascinated a woman who is determined that people should actually be able to go heal people as Jesus commanded. I also believe that the “getting rid of self” aspect of yoga is right on. However, these three dreams were a warning to get off that path entirely — an answer to prayer, since I am always praying to be guided to stay on the narrow path.

I’ve had a few dreams about witchcraft as well. I used to be into Wicca in my twenties, and left off that after so much darkness began to break through into my everyday life that I slammed that door firmly shut and didn’t have anything to do with spirituality in any form for many years after that. In the latest witchcraft dream, I was wondering if the Christian “word of knowledge” was the same as having psychic powers. (For those who don’t know, a “word of knowledge” is when you get an impression about someone that is true that you wouldn’t ordinarily know. I get it occasionally, and it has helped me to avoid some awkward and untoward situations.) In my dream, a witch friend said, “I’ll show you,” and put her hands on me and transmitted energy to me. When that happened, my mind was filled with black and white static patterns like you’d see on old televisions that weren’t receiving properly.

And then there was the Abraham/Law of Attraction dream. That one showed the Abraham-Hicks person impersonating Christ in his resurrection and having her followers take communion. When I put the bread in my mouth, I was instantly swirled down into a dark abyss. I spit it out and woke up. (I wrote about that dream in this blog post.)

Islam has also been in my dreams. In one of them, I was in a Middle Eastern desert, and there was NO water. A prostitute was able to get a few drops out of a faucet, and that was only because she knew how to love. All of the religious people in the dream were without a drop. In that particular dream, I was also shown a Christian church. In that church, there was a huge waterfall, but sadly, only a few streams of water were trickling down what had once been a conduit for a very powerful flow. Of course, water represents spiritual life.

The dreams show me that all roads point to Christ. Yet even so, it is not simple. I have been directed by a dream to not attend a particular church. And most churches leave me cold, to be honest. I’m not interested in playing religion — not even a little bit. But I am not worried, because I don’t feel alone at all! I’m so thankful for the guidance.

You’ve Already Been Given a Mansion — Will You Believe it and Move in?

Disclaimer: This post has NOTHING to do with politics.

Last night I dreamed that President Trump was my father-in-law and was coming to visit. I frantically tried to fix up our little shack of a house that we bought to be our office. I went to the store, only 10 minutes before closing time, and was frantically buying a bed, a side table, curtains, etc. When I got home with the goods, I realized it was pointless to set all of that stuff up because we hadn’t even laid the floor yet!

But he never came. What he did was send us a plane ticket to New York. Once we were there, Ivana informed me that he had given us their luxury high-rise apartment — just flat out given it to us. I was in such a state of overwhelm that I started crying. She seemed puzzled that I would be surprised by this. After all, he was my husband’s father — of course he would want to take care of us in style! Nothing was required of us. All we had to do was accept the gift.

The next thing I was doing was opening all the windows and looking out at the beautiful view. I wanted to take photos for Facebook and Instagram to let everyone know what I had been given. At one point, I left the building and was stopped by the receptionist when I reentered. I thought, “Oh no, she knows I am an imposter!” but all she wanted to let me know was that I was invited to a family meeting.

Barron was there. He reminds me so much of Sage with his looks of sensory overwhelm. Demons were harrassing him, but I sang and many of them left. Even though he saw himself as a dark person (due to the demonic influence), he still lived in the mansion, and was taken care of. He was a child of his father. This part of the dream is unimaginably comforting to me, as I believe it is God’s way of saying that Sage is in His hands and is His child no matter who he currently thinks he is. Demons like to harrass the Father’s children, unfortunately.

Why Trump? In the parables of Jesus, so often the “King” was used to represent God. Trump, for all practical purposes, is the current king, and makes sense for this story, especially since he owns a mansion way up high and has a son who reminds me of my own. :)

So there is this mansion. Our Father has given it to us. It is so hard to believe that he would give us a gift of such majesty that we continue to try to fix up our shacks, trying to make ourselves acceptable to Him. But he already loves us so much. Once we realize that, we will sell all of our little shacks and move into the treasure that we have found.

Law of Attraction: Real, But Misses Something Important

law of attraction

Donald Trump’s apartment in NYC.

Honestly, many of the dreams I have are as real as waking reality, if not more real. The things I am shown!

The first dream I had last night was of a large house with hallways that formed a swastika. I walked down one of these long, dark hallways and came to a dark room with a broken light fixture. It was Trump’s room. I am so hoping that this dream is in no way prophetic!

In the second one, my family lived in an duplex. The other family was a devoutly Christian family that I had known from the days when I went to house church. This family would avoid me whenever they saw me because they saw me as a heretic and a sinner. I became so very lonely! (This mirrors real life. I have not found church relationships to endure at all outside of the church building or home or whatever, except two.) In my loneliness, I went to an expensive life coach, who kindly sent me tickets to a conference featuring Abraham, the entity channeled by Esther Hicks. The whole Abraham deal is about how we create our own reality — law of attraction stuff that can be very right on. Anyway, I arrived at the conference, but because I hadn’t bought the expensive books, they kept me and the other people who hadn’t paid enough behind a curtain where we could listen to what was going on, but not fully participate. The life coach was there. When he saw this, he grabbed me and took me to the front row of the main row. There was some sort of play going on, and I participated in it. I can’t remember what it was about. Meanwhile, the judgmental Christian neighbor was there screaming about how we were all sinners who would have out-of-wedlock babies who would all end up on welfare. I told her that no one would be there if they found the love they were looking for in the church. At the end of the whole thing, Abraham-Hicks was lying in a coffin at the front pretending to be dead. Everyone lined up and went to take part in a rite that was the same as the Christian communion. This felt pretty weird, but I did it. As soon as I put the bread (which was PlayDoh) in my mouth, things went dark and I started to spiral downward into an abyss. I immediately spit it out.

That’s pretty much it. I’m thinking that narrow gate that Jesus talks about is quite narrow indeed. So many of us miss it. There is a lot of counterfeit things out there, as I saw in the vision I wrote about last week.

I’m seeing a LOT of false teachers. A Course in Miracles (supposedly channeled by Jesus) has always intrigued me, because like the Law of Attraction stuff, it has a lot of truth. Yet its writer died miserable and out of her mind by one account. And Marianne Williamson, the main teacher of it these days, is having a snit on Facebook about the election, being rude to her detractors and all. None of the peace and love that she has made millions preaching is on display. Several pastors on both the left and the right are showing little grace as well. It makes me aware of just how far we have to go, and how very elusive the truth that brings peace beyond all understanding actually is.

I’ve given the Law of Attraction a lot of thought lately. I’ve decided that yes, it does give a good picture of how reality actually works, and is likely the reason that Paul says to focus on things that are noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, etc. The thing is, when we try to create our reality in any way without being connected to our Source, the true vine, then things can get seriously messed up, because we are so far from perfect. And you can’t GET truly connected to God as long as you are still in your own will. That Source connection comes when you have surrendered your life and are willing for the Holy Spirit to work through you. So yes, you could manifest a mansion, but you are likely to also manifest several ugly things unless you are fully working in God’s will. I’m thinking Donald Trump is a master of manifestation. Yet he is not where most of us want to be, spiritually speaking. When fully surrendered to Source, you are likely God is likely to manifest some really amazing things — few of which may be material.

For me, all of this simply points to what I wish I’d known long ago. That we can trust no teacher save the words of Jesus (and you’d better watch those interpretations that are out there!) and the teachings of the Holy Spirit. I love how I ask him to show me things and he does. My older son is having a very difficult time living in a different reality than our consensual one, and in his apparent psychosis, I said to God, “Please show me how to help, please show me!” and then listened. The Spirit simply told me, “Love him as if he were Jesus,” which reminded me both of Mother Theresa’s Jesus in “distressing disguises,” and of the dream I had about LOVE raising the dead.

I want to be on that narrow path. With eyes on the world, believe me that the entrance to that path will be obscured among the chaos. May our eyes be open, and may we be guided out of all delusion.

God TV: The Chessboard

I’ve been doing this thing lately. I’ll pray, and then I’ll feel relaxed and sit back and watch what I call “God TV.” This entails me watching the back of my eyelids and saying, “Show me, God.” I don’t always see things, but sometimes I do. When I do, it is like a movie is playing in my head and I am watching it. A bit like a waking dream.

The vision:

I was a white pawn on a giant chessboard. There was a savior chess piece that was like the queen who protected me with its superior moves. I just followed its lead, listening to its directions, and I was always protected from the black pieces. But then one of the black pieces got clever and imitated the voice of the white piece exactly. I no longer knew where to move unless I kept my eyes on the white piece at all times because they sounded exactly the same.

Sounds about like the delusion we are all susceptible to.

The Bread

The dream:

In this dream, I was working with kids who had been sexually abused. This one teenage kid had let adult men abuse him. I asked him why. He told me that he had hoped that God the father would somehow intervene, that he wanted a hug from God. I told him that sex with these older men was not the answer. I got out a package of bread to give to him instead. I said it would help. There were three pieces, but they were as stale as croutons.

I wish I had had fresher bread to offer. :)

The Professor

The dream:

I had been putting off taking a college math course until the last semester before graduation. I was terrified I would fail it — too scared to even go to class once it started. I worked out of a workbook by myself instead. When I came to a part that was too difficult for me to understand on my own, I decided I would go to class. The math problem that I was stuck on was like one I had never seen before. It was a comparison of equations of logical beliefs. When I got to class, I found the professor to be unbelievably kind. He provided all of the supplies that the students needed to learn — highlighters, etc. He and I instantly developed a wonderful rapport. He was very funny, and we told jokes back and forth. I fell completely in love with him. He needed a worker to help him in his office, and I gladly volunteered, not caring how much it might pay, if it paid at all. I decided to drop all of my other classes, because this was the only one I had any interest in.

The professor and I had a great time in our friendship. He was awaiting for his bride-to-be to arrive, but in the meantime, he was having a blast. We went on a boat. We encountered huge waves that scared some people, but I had a great time. The big waves would come and pitch the boat forward. I would look at the waves, and there were these crabs with HUGE smiles on their faces just surfing the waves, having a grand old time.

When I woke up, I still felt so in love with this new best friend that I had found. It was one of those dreams you’d like to go back to again and again. I have never felt so in-sync with someone else in my life. It was beautiful.

Marathon

Last night, I dreamed I was running a marathon. I was going completely against the grain. The race started in the late morning, but I had been running since the early morning alone or with one other person. The runners were supposed to go on one direction, but I was running in the opposite direction. At times, I joyfully hopped along on one foot. Eventually, I took a left turn and joined up with the more conventional runners. Almost immediately, the race became very difficult. It felt as though I was running through sludge and it became hard to breathe. Then I woke up.

A Filthy Mansion and Another Dimension

It seems that at least half the time, this site is a dream journal, so this morning, I’ll just go with that.

Last night I dreamed I was a maid in a huge, gorgeous mansion. I had previously been offered the opportunity to work in a smaller, more humble abode, but had turned it down because I loved the architectural beauty of the mansion. Soon after arriving, though, I realized that I had trapped myself. There was so much work in this mansion that I could never get it done.

There were rooms upon rooms. The bathrooms were stopped up, with filthy stagnent water sitting in the showers. The kitchen was filled with so much candy and other treats that the cabinents would not close. Candy was spilling all over the floor.

Knick-knacks were everywhere, gathering dust, falling on the floor and becoming broken. Piles of dust and dog hair were on the carpets. Cat litter boxes were overflowing, and the vacuum cleaner was clogged with filth.

The people who occupied the mansion were very spoiled and continued making a mess. They raised spoiled children who only thought of themselves. Stuff was everywhere. Piles and piles of stuff. Nice stuff, but too much. Of course, the people who had all of this stuff were completely miserable, and made others miserable as well.

I decided to leave. I encouraged other servants to leave as well, and we snuck out the door. I think this dream, like some others I have had in the past, is a reminder to keep things simple so I can navigate this world relatively unencumbered by things that are not important.

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In another dream, I had the opportunity to travel to the “God Dimension.” It was another world, another reality with different rules. It didn’t feel heavenly, really. I don’t really remember it. What I remember is my traveling partner saying to me, “Hey, you’re getting to hairy. It’s time to leave. If you stay here too long, your body hair will get thicker and thicker.” I looked down at my shoulder, and sure enough, black hair was beginning to grow there. I didn’t really care all that much, but he insisted that we leave.

We arrived back to our world, and tried to unlock the door to the entrance. While in the other dimension, our fingers had thickened, making it too difficult to open the lock, another side effect of being gone. I’m guessing that too much time in other worlds makes it harder to fit in to this one…

What I’ve Been Reading: Mysticism, Sufism and Jesus

sufism mysticism JesusThis is for my new friend Meg. I thought others might enjoy these books as well, so I’ve posted them here.

    1. The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See Richard Rohr’s book was like a breath of fresh air for me. I rarely read books twice, but this one got two readings within a six month period. Here’s a snippet from the book: “In the West, religion became preoccupied with telling people what to know rather than how to know, telling people what to see more than how to see.” This book focuses on the path to a true awakening, as opposed to a mere statement of beliefs. You begin to see Jesus and his teachings in a different — dare I say, even more relevant — light. Also, I love his definition of “sinner”: “The word signifies not moral inferiors, so much as people who do not know who they are and whose they are, people who have no connection to their inherent dignity and importance.” Rohr is my spiritual homeboy.

    Speaking of mysticism, it was illuminating to me to read some of the sayings and legends of the early Christian desert fathers who lived around the 4th century. Much different than Christianity these days! Sayings of the Desert Mothers and Fathers.

    2. The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life Besides the tagline of this blog, my favorite part of the gospels is the Sermon on the Mount. A huge pet peeve of mine is that it is not taken very seriously by the church today. Emmet Fox breaks it down where you see the metaphysical truth behind every word that Jesus said in his address. Again, the emphasis here is not on right belief, but on authentic spiritual development and growth.

    3. The Wisdom Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind–A New Perspective on Christ and His MessageThis was one of those books that made me feel as though I wrote parts of it myself. I felt so happy knowing that another Jesus-follower views so many things in the same manner I do. An example: Discussing Philippians 2:5 (Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus), she says, “The words call us up short as to what we are actually supposed to be doing on this path: not just admiring Jesus but acquiring his consciousness.”

    Again, experiential knowledge discovered through “intuition and revelation,” not logic and doctrine, is given precedence. She also gives lots of space to some of the logions from the Gospel of Thomas, such as “Come into being as you pass away.” Spiritual transformation is the goal.

    4. Bede Griffiths: Essential Writings (Modern Spiritual Masters Series) Bede Griffiths is another contemplative who has a fresh perspective to bring to the table. He builds a bridge between East and West, Christianity and Hinduism. And when both are looked at from a mystical perspective, they have more in common than you might otherwise imagine. Yet Christ is most certainly at the center of it all: “Never has humankind experienced more appallingly than at the present day this sense of separation from reality; the world has become a nightmare from which there seems to be no escape. Where then is the clue to the center? Where is the Golden String to be found? The Golden String is Christ; he is the clue to the center. The sacrifice of Christ is the central event of human history; it is the event which alone gives meaning to life. It was in the resurrection of Christ that the illusion of this world was shattered, and humankind was set free from the bondage of space and time.”

    5. Radical Forgiveness: God’s Call to Unconditional Love Brian Zahnd is the first non-Mennonite pastor whom I ever heard interpret the gospels in a manner that promotes peace and unconditional forgiveness. “…the cross is also the place where God forms a new humanity — a humanity saved from hostility.”

    6. Essential Sufism Sufism really strikes a chord within me. Reading the works of Rumi and about Sufi beliefs gives me a sense of having come home. I see so much Jesus within Sufism. It has been a joy to learn about it, and I believe that anyone who is interested in following the way of Jesus could learn from it as well. Nevermind the bit about it being a branch of Islam — the gulf between Sufism and radical Islam is so great that it probably surpasses the gulf between Quakers and Westboro Baptist. Sufis have much more in common with contemplative Christians, it appears, and believe that all religions are potential paths to the transformation of consciousness. This book is filled with sayings and stories that go back centuries. Here is an example of the wisdom: “Do not commit yourself to lengthy discussions of religion — such talk only succeeds in making religion a complex and confused matter. God has made religion easy and simple.” As someone who has a pronounced tendency to try to “figure things out,” I get SO much comfort from reading those words.

    7. The Essential Rumi Rumi writes, “Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought.” Every time I read him I feel the Spirit wrapping his arms around me and I rest.

    8. In Arabian Nights I happened across this book at a garage sale, and oh what good fortune! It is an account of Tahir Shaw’s time living in Casablanca. While he’s there, the most magical things happen. I was about 50 pages into the book before I realized that it might not be fiction. His father, the Sufi writer Idries Shaw, instilled in him a love for stories. Woven throughout the book are tales from Arabian Nights, and I realized that I am not the only person to find wisdom in fairy tales.

Why Searching for God Is Pointless

“You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!”
― Rumi

In my latest dream, I wandered around from place to place.

The first place I went was to a fancy hotel in St. Augustine, Florida, where there were many pools of water. I was asleep, and a preacher I knew lovingly set me in the shallow end of a pool, carefully covering the deep end so that I wouldn’t wake up. Once I did awaken, however, I saw that some people were in pools that were almost entirely shaded from the sun. Others were in a pool fed by a glorious, towering waterfall, but when I drew near, I saw that the waterfall pool had been encased in glass, given artificial lighting, and had slowed to a mere trickle. There was an uninspiring choir singing on a stage in front of the waterfall, and a couple of people were watching. It was blah, so I left.

Then I went to a chapel. It was dark inside, and the church had their own bibles in a translation that doesn’t exist outside of my dream. The people were nice enough, but superficial. I told one lady that if “Christians loved as much as they feared, the world would be transformed.” Walking out, I made a new friend. We walked down the street, and I told her that I was glad to have her along because I wasn’t familiar with the city. We made our way to another friend’s house and ate lunch. Then I went exploring in the neighborhood.

I visited a run-down store in an alleyway where a swarthy snake-like man eyed me threateningly as he tried to conceal the dark magic happening in the back of the store. I was afraid, but the friend I had eaten lunch with was there watching out for me. I became even more afraid when I realized that he might judge me for my presence in such a sketchy place, and I went and hid. He came and found me, comforted me and didn’t judge me at all. We walked along together in companionable silence.

Then I went for a boat ride in an underground river. It turned out the river didn’t actually go anywhere but in a circle, like an amusement ride. At the end of the ride, the operator told me that I was worthy of a Koran, and handed me the book. I got out of the boat, and my friend was waiting for me once again.

I felt such angst over all my searching, but my friend simply looked at me with bemusement. I couldn’t believe how accepting he was. I tried to justify why I was exploring all these things, but he didn’t really seem care one way or the other. He was the kind of friend who is there for you no matter how much drama you create.

Thinking about the dream, it was pretty obvious what it was saying about religion. But I couldn’t figure out why I kept dreaming about this friend who kept popping up everywhere. Soon, however, I realized that the friend was Christ. I was running around like a lunatic in this dream, filled with such anxiety over finding the “right” belief, but all the time, Christ was there. (Rumi calls God “the friend,” and I read him a lot, so that helped me to figure it out!)

It was really cool to realize that God loves me no matter what direction I find myself wandering in, and that if I want, I can just hang out with Him, take off my shoes, and not wander — or wonder — at all.